You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
