she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
