He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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