Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Acid is not a monday night drug
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize