i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
