so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
