she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
