in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
