So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
