Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
