He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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