So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
