did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize