Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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