Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
