I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
