I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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