How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
