Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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