the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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