actually, I'm a sock model
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
