need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your tits are I can't wait for
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
