Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
