you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
