Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
