lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
