The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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