What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
