In America we eat man semen.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
