I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
