break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
