I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
