so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I AM VODKA MAN
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
