5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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