Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
