Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize