you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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