I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
