Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
