I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
