im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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