there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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