I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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