Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
