So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
