That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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