Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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