new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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