Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You took a bar mat shot.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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