Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dignity is for republicans.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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