i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize