He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
They have beer where we have blood.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
