Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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