They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
