He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
