he wants to bone in the snuggie
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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