I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
