She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize