So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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