in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize