So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
