Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
