I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
