Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
