i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
