doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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